


Salmon Onigiri

by AnriXAnri



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cute, Fluff, Gen, Happy Ending, everything is okay and good in the world, happy zoldyck faimly, i saw a fan art of illumi doing up alluk'as hair once so that's proabbly gonna happen too, if your looking for angst or smut look somewhere else son, illumi in a yukata, killua and gon prance happily in a feild of flowers in the background, zoldyck fam learns to get along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-26
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 10:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4015525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnriXAnri/pseuds/AnriXAnri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the ant chimeria arc and Gon never left Killua's side and the two live happily ever after because that's /exactly what happened/ Illumi realizes Killua can't be controlled slash is out of his reach which leaves him at a loss with what to do with himself now that his primary concern in life isn't concerned with him anymore.</p><p>and Hisoka is a good friend who helps his pal out.  <br/>**(we're going according to the 2011 anime, as far as im concerned the dark continent arc in the manga hasn't happened yet hiatusxhiatus can kiss my ass)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. No drinking on the job

**Author's Note:**

> hello? yes, this is a happy fic i thought of while trying to fall asleep. i tried by best with this, and I hope you like it. it will probably be 5 ish chapters long. i plan to finsh this fairly soon. so yeah that's it.

“. . .What?” Illumi said in his usual monotonous voice.

            He blinked at Hisoka's face, which was hard set in an bewildered expression a he stared back.

            “You almost died.” Hisoka said, like he couldnt belive the words himself .

            “Did I?” Illumi said as he tilted his head and scanned the scene.

            He looked past Hisoka’s shoulder and followed the trail of blood leading up to them back until his gaze landed on a corpse with bursts of cards sticking out of it in all directions.

            “Huh. When did that one get here, he wasn’t on the list.” Illumi said as he looked around the rest of the room littered with the bodies of his other targets.

            A flash of amusement passed through Hisoka’s eyes before he frowned and rolled off of Illumi.

            “You didn’t sense him? I mean he was concealing his presence but still . . .” Hisoka said casually before his voice trailed off.

             He stole a glance out of the side of his eye to look at Illumi, who was idly running his hands through his hair like he was trying to comb it out. T gaze was dead set on the moon that peaked in through a window boarded up half way, but from their angel on the ground beams of soft, silver light shone in and lit up the dim hideout. He waited for an answer in the quite, listening to the steady hum of cicadas in the far off distance until the rotting wood floor creaked beneath them when Illumi stood and walked off.

            “I told you I wasn’t feeling well. That’s why I asked for your help on my job tonight.” Illumi said as he pulled all his hair together and let it rest over his left shoulder.  

            “Well if your sick then maybe you shouldn't be—” 

            “Do you want a drink?” Illumi cut in as he ripped off the top of a wooden crate.

             “What?” Hisoka blurted.

            “A drink. Alcohol consumed in commemoration of a job well done among colleagues.” Illumi said in one long breath like he was reciting a practiced line.

            “W-Well I guess . . . but—” Hisoka started before loosening his train of thought at the sudden _CRASH_ of glass slamming against the wall as Illumi hurled several more bottles of wine behind him until he settled on one in particular.

            “These type of people almost always have alcohol nearby but they never have good taste.” Illumi sighed as he twisted off the cork. “This will have to do.”

            He walked over to the window, swishing the wine inside the bottle for a bit as he punched out the boards covering the rest of the window. Once it was clear he brushed woodchips and dust off the windowsill and sat down with his legs hanging out over the edge. He then brought the bottle to his lips but suddenly stopped and got an expression like he just remembered something before turning to Hisoka.

            “Do you want the first sip or should I?” 

            “No, please go ahead.” Hisoka said with a pleasant smile as he held a hand up.

            “Alright then.” Illumi said as he tilted his head back and started drinking.

            _And drinking._

_And drinking._

            As the seconds drew on Hisoka’s eyebrow steadily rose higher the further back Illumi tiled his head until it looked like he was going to fall inside, but right when it looked like he would Illumi suddenly grabbed at the wall and pulled himself back up. He let out a long breath and stared at the bottle for a long time before he finally spoke up.

            “Oh . . . it’s empty. Sorry Hisoka ” said Illumi.

            “I wasn’t really in the mood to drink anyway.” Hisoka said casually as produced a playing card between his fingers and regarded it carefully. “Anyway you said you weren’t feeling well, did you catch a cold? You really shouldn’t be drinking if your sick.”

            “I’m not sick I just don’t feel well.” Illumi said plainly without taking his gaze off the moon.   

            “Is that so?” Hisoka muttered as he bent the playing card in half and took a sideways glance at Illumi before launching the card at his head.

            Illumi reacted, but his movements were sloppy and unfocused. It was clear he was trying to grab the card out of the air, but instead he threw himself off balance and fell backwards onto the floor. Illumi frowned and looked at the large, red circle of flesh on his arm where the card had hit and an ugly bruise would later form, then huffed and took to staring at the ceiling like nothing had happened.

            Hisoka’s bored expression turned into a tight glare as he produced a fan of cards in his hand.

            “What’s wrong with you.” Hisoka said coldly

             “I said I wasn’t feeling well.” Illumi said plainly.

            Hisoka squinted with irritation and threw a card into the wooden floor by Illumi’s wrist, barely grazing the man’s skin.

            “And why’s that?” Hisoka said cheerfully with a tense, irritable tone underneath.

            “Hmmmm . . .” Illumi said as he blinked at the ceiling.

            A few moments passed in silence before Hisoka let out a little chuckle and flicked another card into the ground, this time at the crook between Illumi’s arm and his chest.

            “I’m waiting.” Hisoka grinned.  

            “Mmmmmm . . . well I think I might have a stomach ache. My stomach hurts.” Illumi said thoughtfully.

            Hisoka’s left eye twitched in irritation as he flicked another card by Illumi’s cheek.

            “If that was supposed to be a joke, try again.~<3 ” Hisoka said cheerfully.

            “It wasn’t a joke, my stomach does hurt.” said Illumi.

            Hisoka clenched his fist, crushing all the cards in his hands before opening it back up and making them disappear. He took a step over and crouched to look down at Illumi.

            “And what made you stomach hurt?” Hisoka said with a chuckle.

            Illumi stared up in thought, for a while before speaking.

            “Killua said he hates me.” Illumi said quietly.

            Hisoka raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

            “And?” he said.

            “That’s it.” said Illumi.

            Hisoka pouted with a glare and rocked himself back off out of his crouched position so he was sitting cross legged on the floor.

            “But doesn’t he always say thing like that though?” Hisoka chuckled.

            “No.”

            “Well he’s just a boy, I’m sure he doesn’t really mean---”

            “I can tell when Killua is lying and he wasn’t. He really does hate me and when I told mother she said it doesn’t matter because he’s old enough to take care of himself now so I don’t need to protect him anymore.”

            Hisoka got an uncomfortable expression but it quickly melted back into his standard cheerful grin.

            “Well that’s okay, Gon always runs away when he sees me so—”

            “This is different.” Illumi cut in, his voice a little louder than usual as he suddenly sat up. “Killua is my _brother._ I’ve been watching over him my whole life and now he says he hates me for it.”

            Hisoka looked away and itched the back of his neck as he tried to think of something to say.

            “Well you have other siblings don’t you?”

            “Mother didn’t tell me to protect them, she told me to protect _Killua_ and I only know how to protect _Killua_.” Illumi snapped.  

            “Well then just do whatever you want from now on.” Hisoka sighed with a huff. “I don’t see the problem here.”

            “What’re you talking about?” Illumi said with an irritable edge to his voice as he turned to Hisoka.

            “Do things you like. You know stuff that makes you happy.”

            “Taking care of Kil makes me happy.” Illumi said shortly as he stared back at the ground. “If I can’t do that . . . then I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. . .” he finished in a weak voice.

            Hisoka felt his eyes go wide as he watched. . . _tears?_ He could hardly believe it, but he watched actual tears quietly run down Illumi blank face that was quickly scrunching up into a pained expression.

            “W-Well there has to be something else you like to do besides watching Killua.” Hisoka blurted in a nervous laugh, though he wasn’t quite sure why he felt so uneasy. “What about work? You’re good at your job aren’t you.”

            “I don’t enjoy fighting like you do.” Illumi said dully. “It’s just something I do.”

            “Well there has to be something.”

            “There are things I know I don’t like and there are things I find convenient but . . . none of that is like watching Killua.”

            “Welllll . . . what did you used to do when you were little?” Hisoka said quickly.

            “Train.”

            “I mean _for fun._ ”

            Illumi slowly turned to him in a confused squint.

            “What’s that?” He said before fluttering his eyes like suddenly realized something. “And what’s this? Am I bleeding?” Illumi said as he touched the tear streeks on his face.

            Hisoka’s jaw dropped from the sheer weight of questions sitting on his toung that he didn’t even know where to start asking, but it’s not like he’d have the chance as a sudden crash from outside and the sound of yelling voices floated in through the window

            “We can find you a new hobby later. It’s time to leave.” Hisoka shortly.

            “Right.” Illumi mumbled as he stood up, but too fast. The world suddenly swirled around and his head felt like it was going down in an elevator.

            He ran into the wall, then stumbled for the window before Hisoka snatched him up and hoisted him onto his shoulder.

            “And no more drinking on the job. You’re a mess.” Hisoka huffed as he took a step on the windowsill. 

 

* * *

 

**Bonus!**

  _(aka a moment that got cut because it derailed the mood of the actual fic but i though tit was cute and might draw a comic or smth on it later.)_

“Oh, It's empty. Sorry Hisoka I didn't mean too-” Illumi’s voice suddenly hitched in a hiccup.

            As his face feel into confused anger Hisoka looked away as he tried to stifle a laugh.

            “What is this?” Illumi said in a low, deadly serious voice.

            “You. . . You have the hiccups.” Hisoka said, trying as hard as he could to keep his voice steady.

            “Hiccups? Am I poisoned? Hisoka explain.” Illumi said seriously as he stared hard at Hisoka, waiting for an answer.


	2. Convenience store~!

_“Hmmmm,_ which one which one . . . ~<3 _”_ Hisoka mumbled with a finger pressed to his lips as he scanned the convince store shelves.

            Generic shopping music played in the background as he considered each brand and treat before finally deciding on a flavor and shoving every last one into his basket.  He walked up to the checkout, and the cashier looked up from her magazine with a bored eyeroll before screaming and falling backwoods.

            “Oh?~<3 What’s wrong?” Hisoka said with a small pout.

            “U-U-U-U-Uhhhhh.” The cashier choked as she pointed to the body casually tossed over Hisoka’s shoulder as if it were a feather boa.

            “Oh him? Don’t worry about him he’s just fine. Now if you would hurry up please.” Hisoka said with a stiff grin.

            The cashier blinked in confusion but shook her head and got back to work.

            “Oh! I also want some of these.” Hisoka grinned as he threw in several packs of gum.

            The cashier nodded and scanned the items like her life depended on it and in no time Hisoka was on his way out.

            “That was embarrassing.” Illumi grumbled.

            “You’re the one who’s too drunk to walk.”

            “What did you even need from a convenience store?”

            “Excuse me, but I got this for _you._ If you don’t eat something that wine is gonna’ give you a nasty hangover.” Hisoka huffed.

            “Oh.” Illumi mumbled as he let himself nod back off to a light sleep.

            His head was reeling, and the sudden, jerking movements Hisoka made as he darted around on his way back to . . .wherever he was going made things even worse until he was on the verge of blacking out. Fortunately after a few minutes it all stopped. He felt Hisoka walk a steady pace forward for a while, then a few turns, and then he felt them going up an in elevator as bright lights peaked through the waterfall of hair over his eyes.     

            He felt himself slipping into a light slumber again and when he opened his eyes he was laying on a soft kingsized bed with triangle shaped convenience store tuna riceballs littered around him. Illumi took a quick look around, he was in a what looked like a pent house hotel room. Hisoka was nowhere in sight but the sound of a shower was going in the distance ended his curiosity.     

            He sat up and squinted at the rice ball, one in particular that had a playing card stuck to it with the words _eat me_ scribbled on with a several hearts.

            “Hisoka! What is this?” Illumi called to no direction.

            “It’s food! Eat it!” Hisoka called back.

            Illumi glared at the riceball for a moment before carefully picking the wrapper off and sniffing it for any poisons or otherwise harmful substances. He gave it a quick it a quick lick and cringed at the taste of nori.

            “This tastes bad!” Illumi yelled.

            “Did you lick it!?” Hisoka snapped in a yell.

            Illumi said nothing.

            “If you just lick it _of course_ it’ll taste bad!”

            Illumi squinted at the riceball for a minute or so before finally deciding on taking a bite.

            And it tasted . . . familiar. Like an old memory you couldn’t quite remember a when or where, but very _distinct._ There was something off though . . . But he couldn’t quite place it either.

            He continued to eat for a while, tearing through the rice balls surprisingly quick and was nibbling on his fifth to make it last when Hisoka came back.

            “Oh? You don’t like it?” Hisoka sighed as he walked back into the room.

            “. . .I don’t dislike it.” Illumi mumbled as he continued eating without looking up.

            Hisoka made an amused scoff and sat down on the edge of the bed.

            Illumi finished it off and spoke while unwrapping the his sixth.

            “What are these things called.” said Illumi

            “Onigiri.” Hisoka said with a grin.

            “. . . Onigiri . . .huh.” Illumi mumbled before taking another bite.

            “So you do like them~<3”.

            Illumi responded with a quite huff.

            “Well if you don’t I’ll just take them back.” Hisoka said in a bored voice as he reached for the remaining riceballs, but Illumi quickly slapped his hand away, snatched the rest of  them and shoved them back into the plastic bag. He then got up and stumbled around on the bouncy mattress for a second as he tried to regain his bearings.

            “ . . .Bathroom. Where is it?” Illumi mumbled before falling down.

            “Across the hall on your right.” Hisoka said with an amused laugh.

            Illumi laid motionless on the bed for a second before suddenly grabbing a pillow and hurling it at Hisoka’s face.

            “Why don’t you go put on some clothes. Pervert.” Illumi huffed before rolling off the bed and walking off to the bathroom.

            “Hmmmmm, feeling better already?” Hisoka purred with a pleased smile.

After a little while Illumi returned and Hisoka had managed to put on a pair of pants.

“Where did you buy these again?” Illumi said as he glanced as he down at his last two riceballs.

“About three miles south from here there’s a little convince store, but they don’t have any more of the same flavor.” Hisoka said as he walked over.  

Illumi made a thoughtful noise and pushed open the wide paneled window, letting in a light breeze that brushed his hair back.

“Are you going to get more?” Hisoka said, leaning against the window.

“I’m going home.” Illumi said as he plucked the rice balls out and tossed the plastic back out the window.

“What? Are you—”

“This is for you.” Illumi said quietly as he pulled up Hisoka’s left hand and placed one of the riceballs on it. He put other in his own pocket and stepped up onto the windowsill as he scanned the city below for a place to land.

“Oh . . . okay.” Hisoka said as he stared at his hand before looking back up to find Illumi staring at him.

“. . .Hisoka.” said Illumi

“Huh? What is it?” Hisoka said, rather confused.

Illumi stared at him for a moment longer before letting out a little sigh and flashing a small smile, and in that single moment Hisoka felt his heart skip a beat, then in the next Illumi was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter came out pretty cute i think. im happy.


	3. A butler's job is to take care of their master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember when Hisoka killed Gotoh? Really? Me neither because it never happened. 
> 
> Enjoy the show

“. . .Gotoh. Can you make another one of these for me.” said Illumi as he held up his last convince store onigiri.

            “If you wish it master Illumi, but my I ask why? If you’re hungry the cook can make you a proper meal.” Gotoh said, setting off for the kitchen in a brisk pace with Illumi at his side.

            “I don’t want a meal. I want this.” Illumi said in his usual monotonous voice.

            “As you wish master Illumi.” Gotoh said as he pulled a rice cooker down from one of the cabinets.

            He set to work, and once the rice was set he glanced down at the convince store onigiri’s label to check the filling.

            “Tuna and . . . mayonnaise? You want to eat this?” Gotoh said with a slightly disgusted expression.

            “Yes.” Illumi said, patiently waiting as he sat on the table.

            “As you wish master Illumi, but we don’t have any tuna in stock at the moment. We’ll have to call some in.”

            “Okay.” Illumi said plainly.

            Gotoh walked toward the kitchen phone and winced as he felt Illumi staring into his back.

            “. . .It’ll take some time for the tuna to arrive, several hours at least.” said Gotoh.

            “That’s okay. We’ll both wait right here until it comes.” Illumi said without breaking eyecontact

            “. . . A-As you wish . . . Master Illumi. . . “ Gotoh sighed as he dialed into the phone.

            Several extremely awkward and uncomfortable hours of Illumi staring at Gotoh later, the tuna arrived and by the time it reached the kitchen everything else was ready. Illumi watched Gotoh carefully as the man’s quick hands sliced up sheets of nori and darted from rice to fish to mayo until a line of onigiris were arranged into a circle on a plate 

            “There you go Master Illumi.” Gotoh said with a proud huff as he pushed the plate forward.

            Illumi blinked at the food for a few seconds then picked up a rice ball and took a bite.

            He chewed thoughtfully for a minute, before taking several more bites and finishing it.  

            “Do you like it?” Gotoh said tentatively.

            “Yes.” Illumi said plainly as he reached for another.

            Gotoh let out a relived sigh and smiled, quite pleased with himself.

            “But something’s wrong with it.” Illumi added.

            Gotoh let out an upset choking noise but quickly regained his composer.

            “What is the problem master Illumi?”

            “ . . .It . . . tastes wrong.” Illumi said between bites.

            Gotoh clenched his jaw and took in a deep breath.

            “You asked for a tuna fish and mayonnaise filling didn’t you?”

            “I did but . . . It’s not right . . . I remember something different.” Illumi mumbled as he stopped eating and stared into the half eaten rice ball in his hand. 

            “What? What are you trying to remember?”

            Illumi looked up and squinted in thought.

            “I . . . I don’t know. I’m trying to remember something, and for some reason I have a feeling it was an onigiri but . . . this isn’t like the one I remeber.”

            Gotoh raised an eyebrow, then for some reason found himself smiling.

            “Well if I can recall, you were rather found of them in your youth. In fact I believe there was a time where you would refuse to eat anything _but_ onigri.” Gotoh said with a small chuckle.  “But then for some reason you suddenly stopped requesting them. I had always assumed you’d gotten sick of them.”

            “When was this?” Illumi said, suddenly jumping up out of his seat.

            “Errrr . . . when you were about two or three? I’m not quite sure, you were very young and I had just been taken on as an apprentice at the time so I never saw much of you. I only heard stories.”  

            “So then you wouldn’t know the exact one I had then.” Illumi sighed as he sat back down.

            “ . . . Is there any particular reason you need to know the exact flavor you had back then?

“I’m trying to find something that makes me happy. I think an onigiri made me happy once and if I find the right flavor it might make me happy again.”

            “Well if it concerns the young master’s happiness I’d be glad to help.” Gotoh sighed with a gentle smile.

            “Oh really? Well if you could make me an onigiri in every flavor then I should figure it out eventually. If I taste it I’ll remember which one is right.” said Illumi  

            _“EH?”_ Gotoh spat before going back to his usual, though this time very irritable and strained voiced “But Master Illumi there are _hundreds_ of fillings depending on how you prepare the meats and vegetables, and that’s not even considering the condiments . It’ll take weeks!”

            “Well then I guess you’ll just have to make me _hundreds_ of onigiri. You said you wanted to help didn’t you?”

            “. . . Y-Yes I did . . . ” Gotoh grunted. “I’ll call the cook right away—”

            “No. You have to make them I don’t want anyone else knowing about this.” Illumi said coldly. “And if you tell anyone about this I’ll kill you and whoever you tell. If anyone asks what you’re doing just tell them your following my orders. I want at least 10 different Onigiri by tonight for dinner and make sure you keep track of which one’s I’ve already had. Thanks for your help Gotoh.” Illumi said with a smile as he picked up the plate of tuna mayo rice balls and walked out of the kitchen.

            “. . . As you wish Master Illumi.” Gotoh groaned as he banged his head on the counter.

           

The following weeks at the Zoldyck Estate went by as they always did. Except Illumi who was almost always out on business stayed holed up in his room, only ever coming out for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Which were all different flavors of onagri. It was roughly a month and a half later when he got a text from a certain clown  that finally drew him outside.

            “ _Are you still alive?”_

Illumi stared at his phone’s screen for a while in the darkness of his room before thinking of a reply.

            _“Yes.”_

            _“Wonderful!~ <3 Could you come out to play then? I’ve been so bored without you lately.” _

Illumi squinted at the screen for a bit.

            _“I’m in no condition to go on a job.”_

            _“It’s not a job, just come out to the city tomorrow and we’ll have some fun.”_

_“Define ‘fun’ “_

_“Show up and see for yourself~ <3.” _

Illumi glared at his phone before stuffing it under his pillow and reaching for the land line on his night stand. After dialing and a few moments, the other line picked up.

            _“Master Illumi?”_

            “Gotoh, for tomorrow put my lunch in a bento. I’ll be stepping out.” Illumi said dully.

            _“As you wish Master Illumi.”_


End file.
